Keys that unlock...

I went around my house this cold drizzly morning trying to figure out what to take a picture of—what could I “freeze” in a photo to capture this day of my life? For some reason unknown at the time, my eyes landed on my keys, so I snapped away.

I love synchronicity, and I love watching to see how Divine Love ties all things together and gives them to us as gifts on our journey—but, back to the keys. Just how did these keys fit into Divine Love’s plan for my, for my personal growth, the unfolding of my own journey?

Yesterday morning I had a dream—you know, one of those busy dreams that we assume are just too stupid to really mean anything. Surely this couldn’t be the voice of Love—it’s too silly, to busy, too complicated. Do I really want to take the time to work this dream? I probably wouldn’t have, except that Dr. Mike Luedde came to our spiritual direction class a couple of weeks ago and talked to us about the importance of listening to our dreams, and working them, integrating them into our journey as divine messages from God—even as sacred as Scripture, if we dare to believe.

This morning as I snapped pictures of my keys, I remembered my dream; someone had given me my keys. I remembered how it felt—the sense of grounding as I received my keys. Keys help us unlock things, so I just sat with my keys this morning and spent time with God. Sure enough, I DID get the key to something that had been bothering me, festering inside of me for 10 days. I got my feelings hurt 10 days ago, and I’ve been unable to let the incident go. I’ve fretted over it, replaying the scenario, including the pain of being ignored or forgotten. There hasn’t been a day go by that it hasn’t been there; I’ve replayed over and over going to the person who “hurt me”, and telling them—for their own good, of course. Someone needed to tell them how their self-absorption was hurting other people—yet, something inside me knew that it was my own self-absorption that kept me locked into replaying this scenario.

As I was reading this morning, the author used a term that seemed to be the “key” to unlocking my feelings—“egocentric craving”. That’s what I have felt since this whole thing happened, an “egocentric craving” for applause, for notice, for recognition. I can’t repent of wanting applause—that’s a built-in longing of the heart, but when that longing becomes an egocentric craving, that’s a whole ‘nother matter. A friend of mine said this morning, “Craving has in it the violence of demand.” Wise words, and so true. No longer did I just have a desire to be recognized and applauded, but that longing had increased to a craving—a demand on everyone I knew.

As that revelation came, I was able to see other parts of the dream—including a very funny ending that I dare not share! My God has a sense of humor grander than anything in the universe! And after a few tears of contrition, I laughed heartily at myself, and the spell was broken. Surely I had been given the key to my own healing in that dream. It was a message from Love. The burden’s been lifted, and I feel free!