The Year in Review

2007 In Review

January – my first art show is hung, and the reception held. Actually there are 4 of us—the culmination of over a year of hard work. It is a beautiful show. Some of my favorite people are unable to attend, but, still, it is a beautiful show. I feel like Cinderella at the ball: glad to be here, but still not too sure it’s real.

A friend looses a grandson to this terrible war in Iraq—I hate this war; I hate all war. This was the closest that this war in Iraq has come to touching my own life. I feel some of my friend’s pain.

In January our Circle meets for the first time, never realizing what bonds of sisterhood will be created, what friendships will be made—or that we will be doing our own show a year later. Here’s to a beautiful group of sisters—what joy they have brought me this last year: The Artist Way Circle!!!

February – oh my…Valentine’s Day brings a real test this year. News that rattles my soul and unsettles me and my family. But life goes on, and the news becomes bearable. And we laugh again, and discover that love really is big enough to be so inclusive. This seems to be a year that will remove some of our rose-colored glasses. And we will discover that the world is still beautiful, that Godde is still really good, and that the All really is ALL, even what we’ve always called “not good”.

A few of my other “Sisters”, the Lace Sisters meet at the Land of Ease for a “girlfriend” weekend—and love on each other again. It is beautiful and needed.

March – Ken Hosmer does a watercolor workshop here, and it is a huge success.

April – The Artist Way Circle takes a day-trip to Houston to see a beautiful exhibit of the 18th-19th Century Impressionist Artists and winds up having a splendid lunch together. These women are treasures to my life right now. A bond is growing, and I find myself looking forward to our times together—like a healing balm those times are.

April also brings a little side-trip to Corpus to visit Jim’s eldest. It’s lovely when your kids grow up and invite you for a visit. Even lovelier when the visit turns out to be so good, and you realize your children are grown, and doing well, and have started to become friends instead of “your children”. That’s delicious.

Up, up and away! Riding in an airplane—and a hot-air balloon! Jim and I take a belated 15th anniversary trip to San Francisco and points north. It’s wonderful. I LOVE SF, I love California! We delight in the hairpin turns of Hwy. 1, spend a couple of nights in the mountains of Northern California, and make many memories. It is a lovely trip—and we survived! Only one little melt-down at the end of the trip. Pretty good for a couple who don’t normally travel too well together. Maybe there’s still hope??? J

May – SHE GRADUATES! Jim’s eldest daughter graduates from college—a huge step. We take a trip to Corpus for the great event!

And my spiritual direction classes come to an end. This has been a 3-year journey, with a wonderful group of people who have been so much a part of changing my whole life. I came into these classes so sure of so much, and they end with me realizing how little I know, and my whole world view changing. So what’s next spiritually? How do I incorporate all I’ve learned—and unlearned into my journey? Where do I go from here? So much has changed. So much has been undone over the last 3 years.

Then a weekend with the Lace Sisters at one of the Sisters’ new home. Another ”un-doing”. It iss eventful—and life-changing for me—and painful. Is it really all about me? Being pretty rattled, my second son plays me a song and sings me a tune, and life is beautiful again. I’m so grateful for my children—my friends who love me still and bear with me and lift me up when life has crumbled.

The next weekend another friend and I take a trip to San Antonio and paint on the Riverwalk. First time to paint “plein aire” and in public. It’s fun—must do again.

June – Life slows down a little. I finish up all of my spiritual direction assignments, continue meeting with my Circle – we’ve finished The Artist Way and started another little book called Crones Don’t Whine, and we’ve officially become The Third Act. We’ve been invited to do a show at the Gallery in January. My painting has dried up, and I’m not sure I can even paint anymore. Maybe it was all a dream and I’m not really an artist. Maybe it was all a dream and I’m not really a Christian. Maybe it’s all been a dream and life doesn’t really have a purpose and it’s all been a joke. But I keep waking up, and life keeps going on—life seem fragile, and a very close circle of friends seem so distant, and I’m not sure what’s hit me. It does seem to be all about me, doesn’t it.

July – My eldest grandchild, and my only granddaughter turns 13, with a pretty untraditional birthday party. My son loses his job, and mine and Ellen’s long-awaited day starts out quite shakily. I say things a grandmother should never say to her granddaughter—but 13-year-old wisdom prevails, tears wash garbage away, and Love grows stronger, and the day winds up being beautiful in spite of my fears and my blunders.

Mother and I head to Dallas to see my youngest and his wife and to visit them for the first time in their new home. A trip to museum, a musical, and a wonderful visit—but the wind changes at the very end, and questions are asked and answers bring disappointments. The rose-colored glasses come off again—life is different now. More decisions are made that wouldn’t have been my choice, but must be respected. My beautiful family has a “crack” in it that seems to have grown wider. What do I do now—can’t seem to fix this one.

And long-time friend’s marriage seems to have ended. Nothing much seems sacred. Real love seems to be futile. I discover a lot of anger still in me.

August – I graduate from the Cenacle’s spiritual direction program and my 3-year commitment is over. I really am at wit’s end. I feel so obligated to the Church who sponsored me, yet—I’m not even sure what I believe anymore. Still asking “Who is Jesus?” “Does all that I’ve experienced really mean anything?” “What do I believe?” “Do I believe in anything at all?” “Should I really even go to graduation—does it really matter?” But I go, and a prayer that I’ve been whispering for a couple of months is one of the themes:

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore, I will trust you always, though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone. (Thomas Merton).

Mind you, it’s been a whispered prayer—not sure I mean it much, but synchronicity lifts my heart for a moment. I stumbled on it a couple of months ago, and taped it to my computer and I whisper it occasionally—and it’s read at the graduation ceremony. Maybe Godde still is speaking to me? One can hope, can’t she.

Still struggling when I try to paint. I come upon a photo of one of my sons playing his guitar. It stirs me, so I think, “I’ll try”. And woola! It works! And another—there seems to be some juice still flowing somewhere…

September – I decide to re-visit pottery classes. Maybe something inside me will jumpstart my art? And an artist I know and respect decides to teach a class at WAS-H—the human figure. I’m so drawn to paint and sculpt the human form—even though no one ever buys…why does that seem to be the only measure of success???

A friend marries in September—a Lily. What a beautiful reception, and something inside me stirs—it started with a wedding and now it ends with a wedding. There seems to be some closure inside—something for me seems to have ended. Amazingly, it feels “right”. Never sure what these “feelings” mean, but they are “true”, and I’ve come to learn to trust them.

October – my artwork begins to flow, kind of sort of, again. I thoroughly enjoy my pottery classes and my watercolor classes. We have a drawing workshop at the studio, and it’s great fun. I’m enjoying model drawing days at the studio. I can feel clouds lifting. But something else is stirring. I don’t want to go to church. I hate being “obligated” to perform. I can’t share my heart there like I can with my Third Act circle. Why can’t we talk freely in church—too many walls, and too much expectation. What do I do about the “obligation”?

November – I reimburse the Church the $1500 they have paid toward my classes over the last 3 years. I feel somewhat freer. No such thing as “holy obligation”. The only thing that keeps me going to church now is serving Eucharist. I know I have to resign that ministry as well. I need to be “free” for the next step, so I let the leader of that ministry know that I can’t serve anymore after the first of the year. A huge weight lifts.

December – The full weight of decisions made in July looms. Christmas is never easy for me, anyway—will I make it this year? One of us will be missing—a choice made. It hurts.

But there’s also something new stirring inside of me. For the first time in a LONG time. Who knows why, but I request books from the local library—books on Mary the Mother and Mary Magdalene. I find myself reading as much as I can, perusing through most books, and savoring many of them, especially the books by Margaret Starbird: Woman with the Alabaster Jar, Goddess in the Gospels, Mary Magdalene, Bride in Exile. I find my heart stirring again—for the first time in the last 3 years, I feel a “coming home”. The Bride returns—the Song of Solomon—the fires are burning again, perhaps just embers, but something is happening inside. I am captivated with the thought of Jesus and the Magdalene. The return of the feminine. The Bride and the Bridegroom. The other “half” of Christianity.

And the friend who’s marriage seemed to be ended? They are together again—just in time for Christmas.
And that’s where I am as this year winds down. The year has come and gone, and my family has survived a crisis. Only time will tell if the wound will be healed. But I made it through none the worse for wear.

And the Voice of the Bride and the Bridegroom stirs inside of me. What will 2008 bring? A year of “new beginnings”? Only time will tell.

I love “New Years”. I used to love empty journals, beginning books. I’ve let my journaling go over the last couple of years, but maybe this year some pages will get written. Regardless, the pages of my life will get written each day—some of them I write, some are written by others, and when synchronicity happens, I know that even Godde is still writing on the pages of my life. So I wait, with hope, expectations…perhaps even rose-colored glasses

Sattelite Gallery Move--Showing at LJ Library

I've joined the traveling Brazosport artists' "satellite gallery". I've had paintings hanging in the Dow Beutel Building for a couple of months now, but today it was time to move them to their new location. Mother went with me and helped me lug all the paintings into the local Lake Jackson Library conference room, where we spent about an hour hanging them. They will be on display there until August; then we'll move them again.



Our local paper did a write up on me and gave my blog address as the place to go view pictures of my paintings, so I figured I might should update this site at least for today! If you want to see other paintings I've done, check them out at http://www.smconner.com.



As you can tell, I've taken a break from blogging for a few weeks. Who knows, maybe this will get me jumpstarted again. Life seems to have gotten in the way, if you know what I mean! Thanks to those of you who've told me you miss it. I love you all for noticing.

And Last But Not Least...

Another new beginning... My youngest grandson celebrated his First Communion yesterday, so I went to church with is family. I took several pictures, most of which were blurry--don't know if it was me moving my camera or Eddy moving. He has a little bit of a problem being still :). I managed to get this shot of him, then the one below...
Doesn't he look like a little angel??? SURPRISE! Actually, he's a treasure, albeit a very funny one! He got to help carry up the gifts, and commented to his mom that "the bread really smelled good!" And he let it be known to his dad that the wine tasted good, too! The rest of us knew that by the way he kept smacking his lips when it was all said and done! No wonder Jesus said, "Let the little children come..." They're much more fun that we are, huh!

Another "End" or is it "New Beginning"???

I took pictures of this day with Jim's camera, which unfortunately is with him in Pennsylvania until the end of the week, so I'll have to post a picture later, but Jim's daughter "Robin-Bobin" graduated from Texas A&M at Corpus Christi on Saturday. It seems hauntingly odd to be graduating Jim's daughters--I met Robin when she was only six. It's been a joy watching her grow up. I WILL post a graduation picture when I geth the camera back!

A Very Busy Weekend of Endings and New Beginnings

I've shared the last three years with this group--my spiritual direction class. Friday was our last class--a day of prayer. We walked the labyrinth together.
The first time I walked the labyrinth, I walked with a large group--and I learned about community, about walking together in a large group, then finding yourself alone, with seemingly no one around, about giving those who need it a wide birth when we meet on the same path going opposite directions or giving each other just enough room to barely squeek by--whatever the other needs, about walking together with someone for a while, then taking a turn and not seeing them again, until they show up again on the other side of the "journey"...
We've walked together for three years (some of us are missing inthis photo), and now our paths seem to be going in different directions, yet we all know we're still in it together. I'm so grateful to have had this season in my life, and I love each of you that I've walked with. We still have a day of prayer in July, then graduation in August--then who knows??? One thing I've learned though, this isn't "the end", it's only the beginning of a new path--a path full of surprises, joys and sorrows, light and darkness, new opportunities for Love to be expressed through each of us to the world that waits for us--and for us to receive Love from unexpected "others" on the way.

Try reading these two books at the same time!

I don't want to be-labor my point, and I'm not saying Obama is Jesus, but reading these two books at the same times is very interesting. Thought provoking, to say the least.

The Seren-Dips Graduate!

Well, we've done it! Our Artist Way Circle officially graduated today, ceremony and all, and it was wonderful. This group of women has been "pure gift", and meeting with them and getting to know them over the past 3 months has been one of the greatest joys of my life. Each woman is a treasure! And we love ourselves as a group so much that we've decided to name ourselves the Seren-Dips (cute, huh!), and I have officially registered us with the Millionth Circle. If there was ever a forward-thinking group of women, this is it! :) Thank you Nancy Y. for having us in your home, and thank you Adalia, Annie, L'il Anna, Barbara, Ginger, Helen, Jeanette, Linda, Nancy S., Sharlyn, Sherry, and Tina for sharing your life with me. We are SISTA'S, and I love each of you a whole bunch!

Getting New Windows

These young guys are taking out all my single pane energy wasting windows and replacing them with highly energy efficient double hung windows...I was thinking this morning about the "prophetic picture"--my house getting all new energy saving windows. I like the picture! :)

Reading Political Stuff?

I've never read politically--used to consider myself "apolotical", until I realized that I just hadn't found "my spot", and I was being politically correct for the culture I had been raised in. But this man interests me. Reading his book has been a breath of fresh political air--he seems humble, reasonabale, and willing to listen and consider all sides. Balanced. And, yes, full of hope. I haven't hoped for this country for a long time, but there's a faint stirring of hope rising up in me. This guy isn't the magic pill, but maybe if more of us could listen, really listen to the "other"--maybe, just maybe....

Inner Authority

I worked in my yard for a while yesterday, and before I knew it, I was pondering Mary’s “fiat”, her “yes”. And I’m still thinking about it this morning. I’ve wanted a “yes” as resolute as Mary’s for many years, but this morning it means more than “surrender”—more that “I’m your handmaiden—whatever you want”.

You know, I’ll never be a “virgin”, and I’ll never again have a special baby, but I really believe Mary’s story has to be mine for today, or it’s not part of a transformational gospel. Like Meister Eckhart said, not to belittle the birth of Jesus, but it doesn’t do us much good that Mary conceived the seed of God and gave birth to the Christ, unless I am able to conceive that seed and birth Christ for today. So, in light of all that…

What did it mean for a woman in Mary’s day to say “yes”? We think we live in a patriarchal age, but a lot of changes have taken place since Mary boldly spoke her “yes”. In her day, it was still believed that a woman couldn’t have a relationship with God without a man’s intervention. She had no authority on her own to say “yes”.

I was pretty impressed a couple of years ago when I found out that the Aramic word for “virgin” simply meant “without the intervention of a man”. Even to this day, many of us in our current patriarchal society are taught that the man is the head of the house, the spiritual leader, the final authority. Years ago, I felt God calling me in a definite direction, but my pastor disagreed with me. He tried to talk me out of it, and finally in desperation turned to my husband and said, “Jim, as Sheila’s spiritual authority, what do you think?” I was flabbergasted—and Jim was, too!

Women are still deemed unworthy and/or unsuitable for the priesthood or pastorate in many denominations, including my own—based on a male-biased interpretation of Scripture and the science and reasoning of 2000 years ago. We’re still spiritually relegating women to second class citizens, because of the words of our spiritual forefathers, like Thomas Aquinas who spoke of a woman’s need to be governed by others wiser than herself when he wrote: “by such a kind of subjection woman is naturally subject to man, because in man the discretion of reason predominates”. (Emphasis mine) And this is only one example of a patriarchal culture that continues to subordinate women as the “God-given order of the world.”

All that to say that Mary defied those boundaries when it came to having her own personal relationship with Love. She heard Love speak for itself, and she believed what she heard in her own heart, and she chose to act on what she heard and believed of her own volition. She didn’t wait to have what she heard and believed correctly interpreted for her, nor did she wait to have the male spiritual leader agree with her, giving her permission to continue that relationship.

In fact, when her “spiritual authority” questioned her hearing and her response, a Messenger was sent to tell him, “Listen up—Mary heard right, and what she said is true. Believe her.”

For Luke to even include the story of Mary’s encounter with God is a pretty big deal.

So that’s what I’ve been thinking of over the last couple of days. Mary led the way for us, not as a docile, quiet little dependant woman, but as a brave, bold “thinking- for-herself” kind of woman—unafraid, or maybe courageous. She believed in her own inner authority, and her story encourages me really desire to KNOW for myself. She gives me courage to do this journey MY way. And I’m grateful Luke told the story for women of today.

West Meets East

We had a rare opportunity in our area yesterday; the Dalai Lama came to Houston for a visit, so of course a group of us headed to Rice University to see and hear for ourselves. It amazes me still that I am at a place in my journey through life that I can even hear another spiritual voice speak into my life--especially one from the East. But I'm there, and I welcome the balance the other half brings. Again, one of those paradoxes in life--there is no West without East, there is no us without them, and there is no complete without all the parts. My western mind has been so lopsided for so long, and my spiritual process has been so "partial"--it's a joy to be able to open to the other and to hear with an open heart instead of a closed mind. What I find is that we're all saying much the same thing. The Dalai Lama's talk yesterday was on compassion in our every day life--the same message Jesus spoke as he walked among us. And it's a message I long to hear and experience in my life--if I must err, may it be on the side of compassion.

The Dalai Lama is a humble little man with a joyful smile that radiates from inside to the outside. And he left us with a profoundly humble statement: If you've heard something today that you can use, then take it and practice it and make it yours. If you haven't heard anything that's useful to you--then just forget all that I've said and don't worry about it. That's another place I want to get to--a place where I'm willing to let go of my agenda and my "right-ness", trusting that each person I meet will find his/her own way. What a gift to have someone say, "Trust yourself to know the truth and to find your way."

After those wonderful words of wisdom and love, a few of us went and ate and shopped! A pretty grand day--one filled with simple pleasures and simple words.

California or BUST!

Hubby and I leave for San Francisco and points north Saturday morning--a 15th wedding anniversary present! While we're gone, trusty computer's going in for a check-up--it's moving soooooooo slllllloooooooowwwww..... So, I'm signing off until May 1! Catch up with you then!

Getting a Do...

No, these aren't hot fudge sundaes! I went today to get my hair colored. I usually do it myself, but I decided to go a little more dramatic. Lorena talked me into doing my red plus 3 shades, so I decided to try it.
Am I beautiful yet??? Looks like I have a ways to go!
It's more subtle than I thought it would be, but it's pretty. We'll see...

Sunday, April 15, Lagniappe--a Little Something for Susan

One of my best friends loves the word, "lagniappe". I've never heard it before until Susan began using it a couple of years ago, I think. I'm not even sure how to pronounce it, and can never remember what it means, but Jim and I saw this little shop in Bay City driving home yesterday, and I had to pull over and snap this photo for Susan. I love you, my friend!
Susan, my prayer for you today is "lagniappe".

Saturday, April 14 - One more batch...

Ok, so I'm posting way too many, but we just don't get too many chances to visit with this gal this way, so I'm taking advantage--like she said, it was quality time, way overdue. Robin's been working here at the Bourbon Street Candy Co. for 3 years now. She's enjoyed it, and they all seem to think she's pretty grand, too.
Her bosses are very nice people. We enjoyed visiting with them and seeing their "baby", the shop.
Some of Robin's work buddies making the shop's specialty. Robin, we love you, and we had a great time!

Saturday, April 14 - Dinner at Joe's on Corpus Bay

Seems strange when your kids start drinking in front of you. Robin and I talked about it. My mother moved in with Jim and me when I was 53. I told her when she was thinking about coming down, "Mother before you come down, you have to know that Jim and I drink occasionally, and Robin has her belly button pierced and we really don't care." 53! I was always mortified that she would find out that I wasn't the daughter she thought. Now-adays, she really doesn't care and she's pretty cool about a lot of things, but I didn't know then. Anyway, we all had a drink Saturday evening together, and it was nice. We probably don't know it all, but that's ok, too.
Here we are about to eat, having had a wonderful day. Robin's a great tourguide and a very sweet friend.
This was one of the many signs at Joe's--I've adoped it as my mantra! :)

Saturday, April 14 - More Robin/Corpus Pictures

After we saw the botanical gardens, we decided to see the USS Lexington, a WWII aircraft carrier docked at Corpus. It was fun watching Robin and her daddy walking through the Carrier reading all the signs, and sitting in all the right seats: gunner seats, captains seats, etc.

I love this picture of Robin--happy and grinning from ear to ear!

Robin and her daddy in another "seat" of some kind...don't remember, but they wanted their picture made!

Saturday, April 14 A Trip to Corpus to Visit Robin!

Meet Robin, Jim's oldest daughter. She's been attending Texas A&M at Corpus and graduates in May. She's had her own apartment for the past year, and she's often invited us to come visit her, but it hasn't worked out, until now. We figured if we were going to get to see her first apartment, we better go now, because there's a good chance come the end of June, she'll be somewhere else. So, the new "marriage saver" GPS in hand, we left early Saturday morning--in fog and cold--and arrived about lunch time, just in time for beautiful clear blue skies, and an awesome warm day--just right for the sightseeing thing. This isn't the best picture of Robin, but it's the only one taken in her little apartment, so it's what you get!
Meet the Trolls...these were the little ditties that Robin loved when I first met her 16 years ago this summer. She was into trolls and Barbies. It's fun seeing her collection displayed in her apartment--I love it that she hasn't grown up too much for trolls!

Friday April 13, the "marriage saver"

Hubby's been traveling a lot lately, and he got home Friday afternoon with this little dittie--he called it a "marriage saver". Don't ask me why??? We are leaving Saturday for a trip to California, and granted, we haven't always traveled well together, but the issue hasn't been getting lost--at least not geographically! Perhaps this more a spiritual picture?? :) We used it this past weekend when we went to Corpus to visit his daughter, Robin. It was very interesting--everytime we made a wrong turn, some female Australian voice came on and said, "Recalculating"...occasionally, when I turned the way I wanted to more often than she liked, she admonished me to "Please drive the highlighted route!" Maybe that's what Jim meant? I suspect most of us could use a little spiritual GPS to help us travel "life" together well...a Guide to help us re-calculate all our wrong moves, and Someone to remind us to "drive the highlighted route". Meanwhile, it was fun playing with this little gizmo, so we'll take it to California and we'll see if it "saves the marriage"...Let you know later! :)

Thursday, April 12, New TV Delivered

Well, we've gone and done it--upgraded to a new big-screen tv. Actually, this one is smaller than our old one--the screen may be bigger, but it fits in a much more compact space--I got some of my living room floor space back! Hadn't bargained for that. Got rid of Jim's big old black stereo speakers, too. I hated those things. So now we look like the Jetson's! :)

Wednesday, April 11th Yellow Roses Blooming

I planted climbing roses next to a trellis by my swing several years ago, and they've never done squat--I think it's too much shade, but low and behold, I have several blooms this year! Who knew! Not nearly like my friend Susan's climbing roses, but more than I've had! I'm grateful!

Satellite Gallery Exhibit

I took several paintings to the Dow Beutel Building this morning and Rick, here, helped me hang them. The Art League has several "satellite" galleries, and the Beutel Building is one of them. So, I'm officially on the circuit.

Rick was a great helper--I hadn't expected Dow to provide help hanging paintings, but they did. And they let me pull my car right up to the front door to unload, so it was a very pleasurable experience. My paintings will be on exhibit there until June.

Slow day...

You can tell it's a slow day when I take pictures of the tv screen! Satellite went out yesterday, and that's always a big deal. Not only do I hate to miss Dancing with the Stars, but Mother has to miss Jeopardy and the news...Major thing!

Just got a heads up that our neighbor Ronnie is back from Iraq! He surprised us all with a visit--I just got back from across the street, but it was raining and I didn't feel like dragging the camera! Jim's going to hate that he's not home for this!

Happy Easter!

Father Karl joined us from Houston today to help out with the overflow Mass. On Easter Sunday, we have one 8:00 Mass, 2 9:30 Masses and 2 11:00 Masses--usually quite a large crowd. I like Fr. Karl. He's a sweetie, and he always gives a good homily. I laughed at him this morning before Mass--he commented to one of the servers that it was so cold he was afraid he would accidentally celebrate the Christmas Mass instead of the Easter Mass.
I've never attended Mass in the Hall before, but I was assigned to serve there, so there I went. It was nice--the lilies smelled so good. Frankly, lilies, hydrangeas and azaleas were the only sign of Spring. Everyone was dressed in winter attire. There's always next Sunday.

Hope you've had a blessed day, and I hope the sun was shining where you are, and that it was warm.

Happy 50th Birthday Neighbor Carl!

Left to right: Jim's daughter, Rebecca, hubby Jim, birthday boy Carl, Carl's brother Paul, and Devin, stirring the pot. Yesterday we celebrated Carl's 50th birthday with our first crawfish boil of the season--and boy, was it COLD! Looks like Easter will be frigid this year. The weather's crazy, but that's ok--company was good, and the food was great...
Wasn't he a cute kid! Notice the "over the hill" note...most of the rest of us know that 50 is only cresting the hill, not going over it, but that's ok. We'll let the young folks find out for themselves!
YUMMMMM! Hot crawfish being poured into the chest--really good eatin', with corn on the cob and new potatoes. The only thing that might have been a little better might have been some warmer weather, but if you can't have everything, yesterday was perfect!

A Wonderful Day

Back row, left to right: Helen, Sheila, Jeanette, Linda, Ginger, Nancy, Sharlyn, Adalia
Front row, left to right: Lil' Anna, Annie, Barbara, and Tina. We're minus another Nancy and Sherry--we missed YOU!

Meet a delicious group of women--this is our Artist Way Circle, a group of committed women (minus 2) who have met every week for 8 weeks so far. We are tapping into our creative side and becoming even more creative in our coming together to do it. Yesterday we took a "play date" and went to Houston to the Museum of Fine Arts to see the masterpieces of French painting on loan from the Metropolitan Museum of Art--the Impressionist period and more. I must confess that I've never studied the old Masters, much less seen more than photographs of their work, so I was like a kid in a candy store--actually, the feeling was much deeper, but I can't describe it. It was way more than I expected.

One of the first paintings to strike me was Marie Denise Villos painting of A Young Woman Drawing. The light was incredible, and her eyes caught mine as she looked into my soul. I was stunned, and could have spent more time just sitting and looking at her. It was as if she knew me--or she knew something about me that perhaps I don't even know about myself.

And I really enjoyed te nudes painted by Jean Disire-Gustov Corbet. He was a "bab boy" whose work was sometimes condemned for being "crude", all because he included the hair under their arms or because his paintings were more realistic. Several of us mentioned the fact that someone suggested he paint angels in one of his more sensual paintings--to help it be more acceptable, and he said he would, if they could show him an angel. I especially loved his nudes in and around water, and the one I saw of the lady with the parrot. Beautiful! And yes, sensual!

But my breath was taken away as I entered the room that contained Monet's paintings. I remember back when I was in high school--he's the only artist that I remember talking about, and I knew I liked his work. I imagined myself being an impressionist artist because of him. But you know, that was a long time ago, and sometimes I think I made it all up--but when I stepped into the room, I cried. It was like coming home in a strange sort of way. O my gosh, I loved his paintings. I loved the energy, the color, the brush strokes--and I remembered, "Yes, my memories were real, and he really was my inspiration."

I could go on and on, but I won't--instead I'll move us to the next part of the day. Annie booked us reservations at this lovely restaurant, and o my! We felt so elegant and so fabulously treated as we walked into this little restaurant on Alabama street.

Pure elegance, inside and outside. Annie had gotten reservations for us out on the patio. The sky was blue, the air was dry (for a change) and cool and clear. There was a magnificent fountain and lots of lush plants all around. The service was impeccible, and the food was absolute sheer delight.
I got a beautiful grilled salmon steak, served with a salad, wine, sorbet for dessert...and absolutely some of the best company anywhere. There was laughter and enthusiasm delight as we shared a long leisurely lunch with each other. We're already thinking about it--we really must take a trip together!

Thank you ladies for being a scrumptious part of my life! I love all of you a whole bunch!

Remember the ducks????

Ok, one more! Actually this was supposed to have been yesterday's post...remember my post from a couple of days ago? The pair of mallard ducks had gotten "lost"? Well, they seem to have adapted to our place rather nicely (could it be the bread I fed them???), and they've settled in. They are so pretty, and are quite tame. I wonder if there are eggs somewhere?

On With Life...

Today was errand day for Mother and me--I took her for visit with one of her doctors, and I sat outside by their reflection pool and waited for her. After my breakthrough this morning, it was delicious. I saw turtles, and snapped all kinds of pictures of flowers, reflections, knot holes in the bridge, mold on the concrete--all of it. When we can find the energy flow of love and trust, everything takes on new meaning and all of it's beautiful...
Then off we went to get our nails done! Now, that's awesome! I love this little place--they have the nicest people, and it makes me happy to go there.

Clarity Comes with the Dawn

The fog has lifted! I've been in a funk--let's call it what it is, depression--for about 11 days now, and I've tried and tried to figure out what was wrong so that I could fix it. I've felt as if I was being sucked under or had fallen into a pit with no way out, and I have complained for days about everything and everybody. But Love came this morning--synchronicity! When Love comes disguised as coincidence! I reached and picked up this book this morning. I started it right after the first of the year, but I never got very far, and only Love knows why I chose to pick it up this morning, but I started reading right where I left off in January, in the chapter called Intimacy. Zukov begins: Intimacy is the measure of the energy that leaves your energy system in love and trust...The experience of intimacy is not related to how others act or do not act, or how they speak or do not speak. It depends upon how energy leaves your energy system. When energy leaves your processing system in love and trust, the result is the experience of intimacy... and on he wrote, and everything began to click for me.
And these pages pointed out exactly what I had done: focused on the circumstance and the "who done it to me", instead of the experience of the feelings I had inside. You know, I know this on an intellectual level, but I keep forgetting. It doesn't matter if my circumstances change--if I am living in fear and doubt, NOTHING will be right, EVER. And if I'm living in love and trust, the circumstances, no matter what they are, or if they ever change, simply don't matter. Zukov reminded me to focus on what's happening inside of me, not what's outside of me. It's about ME changing, not everyone else changing to suit me. DARN IT ALL!! Zukov got me when he wrote: Your teacher is very patient. If you do not learn what your circumstances see to teach you, more circumstances arrive to help you learn the same lesson. This continues as long as necessary--in my case, it seems over and over again. No matter, for THIS MOMENT, for today, for right now, I'm open to love and trust again, and my insides and my outsides are "home".