The fog has lifted! I've been in a funk--let's call it what it is, depression--for about 11 days now, and I've tried and tried to figure out what was wrong so that I could fix it. I've felt as if I was being sucked under or had fallen into a pit with no way out, and I have complained for days about everything and everybody. But Love came this morning--synchronicity! When Love comes disguised as coincidence! I reached and picked up this book this morning. I started it right after the first of the year, but I never got very far, and only Love knows why I chose to pick it up this morning, but I started reading right where I left off in January, in the chapter called Intimacy. Zukov begins: Intimacy is the measure of the energy that leaves your energy system in love and trust...The experience of intimacy is not related to how others act or do not act, or how they speak or do not speak. It depends upon how energy leaves your energy system. When energy leaves your processing system in love and trust, the result is the experience of intimacy... and on he wrote, and everything began to click for me.
And these pages pointed out exactly what I had done: focused on the circumstance and the "who done it to me", instead of the experience of the feelings I had inside. You know, I know this on an intellectual level, but I keep forgetting. It doesn't matter if my circumstances change--if I am living in fear and doubt, NOTHING will be right, EVER. And if I'm living in love and trust, the circumstances, no matter what they are, or if they ever change, simply don't matter. Zukov reminded me to focus on what's happening inside of me, not what's outside of me. It's about ME changing, not everyone else changing to suit me. DARN IT ALL!! Zukov got me when he wrote: Your teacher is very patient. If you do not learn what your circumstances see to teach you, more circumstances arrive to help you learn the same lesson. This continues as long as necessary--in my case, it seems over and over again. No matter, for THIS MOMENT, for today, for right now, I'm open to love and trust again, and my insides and my outsides are "home".
The fog has lifted! I've been in a funk--let's call it what it is, depression--for about 11 days now, and I've tried and tried to figure out what was wrong so that I could fix it. I've felt as if I was being sucked under or had fallen into a pit with no way out, and I have complained for days about everything and everybody. But Love came this morning--synchronicity! When Love comes disguised as coincidence! I reached and picked up this book this morning. I started it right after the first of the year, but I never got very far, and only Love knows why I chose to pick it up this morning, but I started reading right where I left off in January, in the chapter called Intimacy. Zukov begins: Intimacy is the measure of the energy that leaves your energy system in love and trust...The experience of intimacy is not related to how others act or do not act, or how they speak or do not speak. It depends upon how energy leaves your energy system. When energy leaves your processing system in love and trust, the result is the experience of intimacy... and on he wrote, and everything began to click for me.
And these pages pointed out exactly what I had done: focused on the circumstance and the "who done it to me", instead of the experience of the feelings I had inside. You know, I know this on an intellectual level, but I keep forgetting. It doesn't matter if my circumstances change--if I am living in fear and doubt, NOTHING will be right, EVER. And if I'm living in love and trust, the circumstances, no matter what they are, or if they ever change, simply don't matter. Zukov reminded me to focus on what's happening inside of me, not what's outside of me. It's about ME changing, not everyone else changing to suit me. DARN IT ALL!! Zukov got me when he wrote: Your teacher is very patient. If you do not learn what your circumstances see to teach you, more circumstances arrive to help you learn the same lesson. This continues as long as necessary--in my case, it seems over and over again. No matter, for THIS MOMENT, for today, for right now, I'm open to love and trust again, and my insides and my outsides are "home".
2 comments:
Well, fear/anxiety produced my bumpy road/funky feelings of late. Lots of nature time helped smooth things out for me. I'm so glad you are feeling your old self again. I agree that LOVE and Trust are key.
Susan
I am glad your funk has lifted and you have a newfound awareness to take it's place.
I think my funk is lifting too. I perservered in my drawing this week despite feeling yucky and have improved. My determination and focus made me feel better. I am feeling very determined now!
p.s. you leave the best comments. I love reading your comments on my 365 blog!
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